You’ve Been Thinking About A Change… How To Get Yourself Committed
It’s been on your mind. Maybe it’s getting to the gym more. Maybe it’s cutting back on all the red meat you’ve been eating. Whatever it is, you know there are benefits to making the change. There are pros! But there are also cons. You’re comfortable with your routine. It sounds too taxing to add yet another responsibility on your plate. Thus, you find yourself stuck oscillating between I should… I could… I might… Will I? Tomorrow! Maybe… We all know this exhausting self dialogue that takes place.
What does this dialogue tell us? Aside from a pesky, nagging voice in the back of our head, this internal struggle tells us where we are in the process of behavior change.
This stage is called “Contemplation”- You’re thinking about the change but not committed to making it.
Think of it like a balance scale. On one side, you see all the pros of making this change- all the possibilities it brings. On the other side, there are cons to the change.
In this stage, you likely have some ambivalence around change knowing that it will be challenging. So… What can you do?
What You Can Do To Get Yourself To A Place of Commitment
Step 1: Make A Physical Pro and Con List Of Your Current Behavior
Really write it down. Writing each “pro” and “con” allows you to visualize them and see them contrasted side-by-side.
Step 2: Make A Physical Pro and Con List Of Your Desired Behavior
Again, complete step 1 for the version of yourself that is doing the behavior you seek.
If you want to be really fancy, you can fill out a decisional balance worksheet. You can see an example here:
Step 3: Explore The Barriers To Change
Now that you’ve made the list, take a moment to zone in on the Pros of not changing and the Cons of your change. What’s stopping you? What do you need to do to relieve these barriers?
Let’s explore this step using the example above:
BARRIER of TV Shows - POSSIBLE SOLUTION of watching your show on the elliptical or treadmill
BARRIER of sleeping in - POSSIBLE SOLUTION of going to bed earlier
BARRIER of gym membership - POSSIBLE SOLUTION of starting with at home workouts
Think about how this change relates to your vision of your overall health and well-being and how it validates the version of yourself you want to be
Let’s explore this step using the example above:
“I am someone who values family and time with family, and I could have more energy with the kids and be able to do more activities with them, like go for hikes”
“Once I get myself in this routine, I will have the confidence to finally talk to my boss about that raise.”
At this point, you should notice that your pros are looking more attractive than your cons. If you are still feeling unsure, you can:
Step 4: Make A Contract With Yourself
This ‘Behavior Contract’ is a useful way to create an agreement with yourself. Studies show we feel more motivated and obligated to act when we have made a “pledge.” This contract can give you a purposeful nudge to really commit and start to plan your new behaviors.
*It is suggested you write this contract yourself, including the reasons why you want to change.
Step 5: Verbally Commit
Shout it from the rooftops! Telling others that you plan to move forward with making a change- maybe in the next month, maybe in two months- makes a difference. You’ve completed the written word of contract, now you have given the verbal word. This leads you from the place of “I might” to the place of “I will”
When you’ve gotten yourself to the “I will,” you are ready to prepare for your behavior change. Questions about feeling “stuck” in contemplation? Email me at margaretpeacock@mindbodypartner.com or contact me here. We can connect to discuss your needs.